America's First Sex Toy Vending Machine To Set Up Shop In Philly

PhillyMag - It’s a vending machine where you’ll be able to get a whole different type of candy: Called PinkBox, this nifty new invention takes products that you would find in a sex toy store and makes them as easy to purchase as a Diet Coke. Timaree, who’s serving as PinkBox’s “resident sexpert” and curator of what’s inside, explains that the machine stocks “everything from condoms and cock rings to Lelo vibrators. There are glass dildos, and starter restraint kits.”

What a time to be alive. Have you ever strolling down South Street and suddenly realize you left your Cock Ring at home? Well worry no more, Simon. Because no you can pick up a whole dick load of sex supplies just as easy as buying a pack of Skittles. Wait, no Fleshlights? Pass. The AAI (accidental ass incidents) statistics in the Delaware Valley are gonna go bananas, especially once these puppies hit the Gayborhood. That is if they actually turn themselves in to the ER. When a vibrating/dildo situation goes down you need two things and two things quick, a pair of ice-tongs, and a friend who can keep a secret.

I’m no doctor, but selling glass dildo’s seems like a lawsuit ready to happen. Like one of those bullets that explode after penetration. Nothing like pulling shards of glass embedded deep in a cervix or small intestines.